Dagmar
at 04:47, 8 Jan 2006
Posts: 1
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Relationships with different cultures
Dear Sally, when I saw your film yesterday (in Germany), many things reminded me of my own and my husband's story who is a Muslim too and had to escape from his Arab home country. I fully agree with the statement "Yes" that a relationship crossing different cultural and religious backgrounds is possible and enriching if both are willing to learn from each other and not see one's own culture and way of living as the only possible. We both feel very much at ease with our respective family-in-law and our circle of friends. But what you cannot espace is the surrounding conditions - Europe's politics towards foreigners, rising prejudice especially against Arabs and Muslims. It is what "he" in the film says: that in Europe he does not exist and every little problem becomes a huge obstacle. Perspectives are worse and worse and a relationship cannot escape the outside world. "He" had to give up his former job, his ideals - and what you finally lose is your dignity and self-esteem. Jobs, even badly paid ones are difficult to find, even for cleaning job, German employers more and more ask for "perfect German in speaking and written" (i.e. to say "no foreigners apply"). My husband had to go to prison in his come country (for reasons he can only be proud of) without lawyer, without anybody knowing where he was. But now he feels Germany as a even bigger prison but without knowing where it leads to. Whatever you try, you hurt yourself against another wall, bureaucratic and other. And this is something even deep and sincere love between partners cannot heal. It is a painful thing to recognize this but if the other person cannot love himself anymore, he is like paralyzed in his love for others. This is what I thought when seeing the last scenes in Cuba. I left the cinema hoping these two will succeed. But you cannot exclude the outside.
Dagmar
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